Captains of the Ship

     My daughter and son are my world, but I also have my husband.  I have learned from the lesson of a broken marriage that a husband needs to come first sometimes.  This I believe one of the issues of my first marriage that my ex-husband and I did not run the home together as a team.  We were not parenting as one because we were not seeking the needs of each other first.  I know that there are others that believe that children do come first and they do, but one can not parent without the emotional and physical wellness of the parents.  This was something that when I married Barry was top on the list.
     The moment that Barry and myself started to plan for forever the talk of how the home in general ran became topic number one.  This meant how we were going to parent each of our own children, step-parenting and rearing the children as a whole would come into play.  Barry likened this crazy wonderful experience to a ship.  We were the captains and we came first.  I can hear the more "liberal" parents out there, "What about the children?" well if Barry and I are not at our best then the ship (the family) goes down.  Barry and I need to take care of our emotional and physical needs first and this means taking over letting the other parent bow out for the night on occasion.  Yes there are times when William, Abby, Triptyn or Matthew might need someone to say, "We are doing what this kid wants to do."  There are times we need to let the children go making it possible for our needs to be met.
     The best example I can give you is the other night when Abby had her Girl Scout bridging.  She wanted to go, but we felt that we needed to be at small group at church.  The church that we call home is changing and we felt that we needed to be at small group making sure we felt comfortable before our family made the change with the church.  I had to allow myself the freedom to know that it is ok for her father to take her to an event by himself.  Also, I do not have to be there for absolutely everything.  She is a big girl and can handle it.  I chose what Barry needed me to do.  We went to small group finding out that the new change is worth the risk.  Things might turn out ok in the end.  I was scared that Abby would be hurt or upset by me not going to the ceremony.  The fact is that she was perfectly fine and had fun with her dad and brother.  As parents we at times have to put each other first and let the kids do what they need to do to fly on their own.  This is also good for single moms who need to find that much needed break.  Parents are the captains of their ship and they will bring their ship over the highest wave reaching calmer waters.